29 Signs You’re Doing Just Fine (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to keep things in perspective and deal with them.

We all have days, weeks, months and – for some – even years of feeling anxious and uncertain.  It’s a vague feeling you can’t quite put your finger on.  From the outside, people think you have it all together, but they can’t see what’s going on in your head.  Emptiness fills your thoughts and emotions all too often, nagging at you throughout the day.  You set goals but they never satisfy your ego.  You always feel a day late and a buck short.  The search can seem almost endless.

And a question continues to spin in your mind:  “Why can’t I just be happy?”

The good news is you don’t have to live like this.  There is a better way to view the world that will lead to what you seek.  The first step, though, is to stop searching.  You will never find happiness by continually looking for it in another time and place.  When you focus on the lack of something in your life, what you want will always elude you.

Angel and I often tell our Getting Back to Happy course members they’re doing so much better than they give themselves credit for.  Most of us are so busy trying to make something big happen, we forget to pause and appreciate all our little victories.

Rather than dwelling on what’s missing in your life, start looking at what you have.  This isn’t just about material possessions; it’s about all the goodness in your life.  When you focus on the abundance you already have, the negative feelings that come from lacking something else gradually fade from your conscious.  Living isn’t an easy thing to do, but it can be enjoyable when you start to see the good instead of focusing on the bad.

Having trouble seeing the goodness?  Here’s a list of things you have to smile about – some obvious signs you’re doing just fine in life:

1. You have the freedom to live your life the way you want to live it.– If you often worry about what you’re going to do with your life – your career, your family, the next step, etc., be grateful.  All details aside, this means you have ambition, passion, drive, and the freedom to make your own decisions.
2. You are courageously walking your own path. – When people argue with you and challenge your decisions, remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.  You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if some people disagree.
3. You are making difficult decisions and acting upon them. – How well you play the game of life comes down to the sum of your choices.  You know this.  Whatever you decide, don’t be the chess piece, be the chess player.
4. You are working hard for people and causes you believe in. – Working hard for something you don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something you love is called passion.
5. You are choosing to be happy in your own way. – When you stop chasing everyone else’s definition of happiness, you begin to see that the decision to be happy has been available all along.  (Read Authentic Happiness.)
6. You see obstacles in front of you because you are not settling.– If you settle for just anything, there wouldn’t be any obstacles in your way, but then you would never know what you are capable of either.  Because your obstacles are your opportunities.  Obstacles are put in your way to help you determine if what you want is really worth fighting for.
7. You have made the best of some tough situations. – Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy with everything.  Sometimes it just means you’re strong enough to accept it and make the best of it.
8. You have come a long way. – Do not judge your failed attempts and mistakes as an indication of your future potential, but as part of your growth process.  Your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today, so celebrate it and use the knowledge you’ve gained.  Don’t let it haunt you and hold you back.
9. You haven’t quit and you aren’t planning on it. – People rarely quit over the last thing that happened.  Instead they quit a tiny bit each day.  Trying to fix the last thing misses the point.  Keep this in mind.
10. You do your best to accept what you can’t change. – Moving on is never an easy thing, but if you start accepting things for what they are it’ll be a lot easier.  Acceptance is always the key to moving forward and making positive changes that are within your control.
11. You aren’t scared to fail forward. – The biggest difference between wildly successful people and total failures is that successful people fail more often, instead of just once.
12. You haven’t let fear get in your way. – You have to wonder how many people are afraid to die, in part, because they often realize too late that they were afraid to live.  (Angel and I discuss this in detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
13. You still believe in the possibilities that lie ahead. – Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what could be.  Remember, life does not have to be anywhere near perfect to be wonderful.
14. You dare to dream every day. – Dr. King gave the famous “I have a dream” speech not the “I have a plan” speech.  It’s our dreams that change the course of history, not just our plans.  Keep dreaming.
15. You have a vision for your future. – “Vision” is the ability to talk about your future with such clarity, it’s as if you are talking about your past.
16. You haven’t let the judgments of others stop you. – Keep listening to your intuition, and make this your lifelong motto: “I respectfully do not care.”  Say it to anyone who passes judgment on something you strongly believe in.
17. You are doing what you can with what you have. – The secret to living the life of your dreams is to start living the life of your dreams, right now, to any degree that you already can.
18. You are doing your best to provide value. – No one is entitled to success.  To remain successful, you must constantly find new ways to add value.  Keep putting your heart, mind and soul into even your smallest acts.  This is one of the greatsecrets of lasting success.
19. You go out of your way to help people. – Service is not doing what is required of us.  Service is doing more than is required of us.  Remember, successful people are always looking for ways to help others.  Unsuccessful people are always asking, “What’s in it for me?”
20. You aren’t scared to express your love, openly. – Love is great when spoken, but greatest when shown.  So if you care about someone’s wellbeing, show it.  Keep doing little things daily to show the people around you that you care.
21. You continue to make a difference. – Have you ever thought about how much your actions mean to others?  Maybe that smile you gave to a stranger today made their bad day better.  Maybe that hello you gave to a colleague today made them realize people actually notice them and care.  Maybe that money you gave to a homeless man today gave him hope.  Maybe spending time with someone special today made them forget their problems for a while.  Keep it up.
22. You have enough right now to live comfortably. – You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night.  You awoke this morning with a roof over your head.  You had a choice of what clothes to wear.  You have access to clean drinking water and electricity.  You are online right now.  You have plenty to be comfortable.  Being wealthy is a mindset.  Want less and appreciate more.
23. You haven’t let rampant materialism get the best of you. – Our lives are not defined by the things we possess.  Our lives are defined by the things we pursue.  Make sure what you own, never owns you.
24. You are reasonably healthy. – In other words, if you got sick today you could recover.  Never underestimate the gift of your health.  It’s the greatest wealth you will ever own.  It’s the foundation for every chance at happiness and success life has to offer.  Your body is the only place you will truly ever live.
25. Your relationships are less dramatic than they use to be. – Keep forgoing the drama and ignoring the negativity.  Don’t let ignorance stop you from being the best you can be.  Just keep doing what you’re doing – being sincere and kind, and promoting what you love, rather than bashing what you hate.
26. You have escaped from some very toxic relationships. – Don’t worry too much about people who don’t worry about you.  Know your worth!  When you give yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your soul that you’ll never get back.  (Read Toxic People.)
27. You know deep down that you are not alone. – Next time you feel all alone, remember, again, that you are not.
28. You have great people in your life who are standing beside you. – Know that it’s less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.  And remember, it’s during the toughest times of your life that you’ll get to see the true colors of the people who say they care about you.  Don’t take these people for granted.  Look around and appreciate them, right now.
29. You have a home. – A house is a home when it shelters the body and comforts the soul.  But a home isn’t always a physical structure, or a specific location on a map.  Home is wherever the people you love are, whenever you’re with them.  It’s not a defined place, but a space in your heart and mind that builds upon itself like little bricks being stacked to create something stable that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.

Recognizing these little victories in your life on a daily basis can take you from a mindset of wishing you had more, to a mindset of joyful appreciation.

Your turn…

What would you add to the list?  What’s something positive about you and your life situation that you often overlook?  Please leave a comment below and let the community know.

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/06/08/29-signs-youre-doing-just-fine/

Watching People on Drugs Offers Insight into the Nature of Consciousness

Michel Serres, the great philosopher of science, likes to use the experiment of touching one’s own lips to point out how we are a subject and an object, a knower and known, simultaneously. Try it! Touch your lips like you are trying to quiet someone and feel first-hand how one moment you are in your finger, feeling your lips, and then in the next you are in your lips, feeling your finger! Feel yourself oscillate between the two positions effortlessly, naturally. In this simple activity, where are “you”? You’re in two places at once! How can this be? From a direct, first person experience, you are both the feeling of a subject knowing and you are an object known. You are inside and outside, self and no-self, emptiness and form at once with a gesture. Amazing!

A similar confusion in the story of self happens when I see another body in a room, and then notice that I am also a body being seen by them. The mysterious human condition of being a seer-seen finds expression in paranoid conspiracies and a constant sense of being stared at. People on drugs can go from bliss and flow to discomfort of the other, of “unseen” entities watching them, of themselves looking at themselves from across an abyss opened up by the drugs. The subject one moment can become the object of another subject the next moment.

We’re always on drugs because the little self is made of drugs. Neurochemically, but also “drugs” in the sense of dreams and desires. The little self is drunk on life, high on drama, taken by pain and suffering, joy and happiness. A delirium of stories and burning passions are atmosphere to the flame of our lives, a light and fire the Buddha talks about in his Fire Sermon: “All is burning.” And this is why we can so easily sympathize with the feelings of people on drugs just by looking at their faces: their glee, ecstasy, fear, sadness and confusion, and even phoniness are all our own.They are aspects of our shared humanity, probably even our shared sentience. As we see in the video, the dog and bird and distorted figures have searching eyes and ears just like we do. Juxtaposed alongside images of people absorbed in real, or fake, drug states, everything can support a meditation on what it means to be “human” in this wavy ocean of altered states.

Drugs and gurus and religions all open up the abyss, the abyss we all must “cross over,” but that depth appears as the basic mystery of human incarnation and opens up during all kinds of transitions in a person’s life. We cross over the abyss when we move from infancy to childhood, from childhood to adulthood, from adulthood to seniorhood, from seniorhood to death. When we meet a new friend, or start a new job, or fall asleep at night. We pass over into dream, into an “other,” and then “return” again to waking life. When we take drugs, we pass over into “other” states, territories, wonderlands, and then return to our sobriety. Watch these people on drugs acting all strange, and ask yourself if you, too, are dreaming. Are “you” feeling anything, or is all this life moving through you like a dream? And remember, it’s not the content of the trip or the dream that matters. “What does it mean!?” may be the wrong kind of question.

Source: http://life.globalish.com/watching-people-on-drugs-offers-insight-into-the-nature-of-consciousness/

10 things you should never do if you want to succeed in life Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/what-will-hold-you-back-from-succeeding-2015-8#ixzz3kJhLhPKK

The smartest thing any of us can do is to help other people succeed — because that way, we also succeed.

And that's why you should never:

1. Thoughtlessly waste other people's time

Every time you're late to an appointment or meeting, it says your time is more important.

Every time you wait until the grocery clerk finishes ringing you up to search for your debit card says you couldn't care less if others have to wait unnecessarily.

Every time you take three minutes to fill your oversize water bottle while a line stacks up behind you says you're in your own little world — and your world is the only world that matters.

Small, irritating things, but basically no big deal? Wrong. People who don't notice the small ways they inconvenience others tend to be oblivious when they do it in a major way.

How you treat people when it doesn't really matter — especially when you're a leader — says everything about you. Act like the people around you have more urgent needs than yours, and you will never go wrong — and you will definitely be liked.

2. Ignore people 'beneath' your level

There's an older guy at the gym that easily weighs 350 pounds and understandably struggles on the aerobic and weight equipment. Hats off — he's in there trying.

Yet nobody talks to him. Or even seems to notice him. It's like he's invisible. Why? He doesn't fit in.

We all do it. When we visit a company, we talk to the people we're supposed to talk to. When we attend a civic event, we talk to the people we're supposed to talk to. We breeze right by the technicians and talk to the guy who booked us to speak, even though the techs are the ones who make us look and sound good onstage.

Here's an easy rule of thumb: Nod whenever you make eye contact. Or smile. Or (gasp!) even say "hi." Just act like people exist.

We'll automatically like you for it — and remember you as someone who engages even when there's nothing in it for you.

3. Ask for too much (especially too soon)

A guy you don't know asks you for a favor, a big, time-consuming favor. You politely decline. He asks again. You decline again. Then he whips out the Need card. "But it's really important to me. You have to. I really need [it]."

Maybe he does, in fact, really need whatever it is. But a person's needs are his or her problem. The world doesn't owe someone anything. No one is entitled to advice or mentoring or success. The only thing a person is entitled to is what he or she earns.

People tend to help people who first help themselves. People tend to help people who first help them. And people definitely befriend people who look out for other people first, because we all want more of those people in our lives.

4. Ignore people in genuine need

At the same time, some people aren't in a position to help themselves. They need a hand: a few dollars, some decent food, or a warm coat.

Though I don't necessarily believe in karma, I do believe good things always come back to you, in the form of feeling good about yourself.

And that's reason enough to help people who find themselves at a disadvantage.

5. Ask a question so you can talk

You ask a guy at lunch, "Hey, do you think social-media marketing is effective?"

"Well," he answers, "I think under the right circumstances …"

"Wrong," you interrupt. "I've never seen an ROI. I've never seen a bump in direct sales. Plus, ‘awareness' is not a measurable or even an important goal …" and you drone on while he desperately tries to escape.

Don't shoehorn in your opinions under false pretenses. Only ask a question if you genuinely want to know the answer. And when you do speak again, ask a follow-up question that helps you better understand the other person's point of view.

People like people who are genuinely interested in them — not in themselves.

MasaIsrael/FlickrNever ask a question just so you can talk about yourself.

6. Pull the 'Do you know who I am?'

OK, so maybe they don't take it to the Reese Witherspoon level, but many people whip out some form of the I'm Too Important for This card.

Maybe the line is too long. Or the service isn't sufficiently "personal." Or they aren't shown their "deserved" level of respect.

Say you really are somebody. People always like you better when you don't act like you know you're somebody — or that you think it entitles you to different treatment.

7. Forget to dial it back

An unusual personality is a lot of fun … until it isn't. Yet when the going gets tough or a situation gets stressful, some people just can't stop "expressing their individuality."

Look. We know you're funny. We know you're quirky. We know you march to the beat of your own drum. Still, there's a time to play and a time to be serious, a time to be irreverent and a time to conform, and a time to challenge and a time to back off.

Knowing when the situation requires you to stop justifying your words or actions with an unspoken "Hey, that's just me being me" can often be the difference between being likable and being an ass.

8. Mistake self-deprecation for permission

You know how it's OK when you make fun of certain things about yourself, but not for other people to make fun of you for those same things? Like a receding hairline, your weight, a struggling business or career, or your spouse and kids.

It's OK when you poke a little gentle fun at yourself, but the last thing you want to hear are bald or money or "Do you want fries with that?" jokes. (Bottom line: I can say I'm fat. You can't.)

Sometimes self-deprecation is genuine, but it's often a mask for insecurity. Never assume people who make fun of themselves give you permission to poke the same fun at them.

Only tease when you know it will be taken in the right spirit. Otherwise, if you feel the need to be funny, make fun of yourself.

9. Humblebrag

Humble-bragging is a form of bragging that tries to cover the brag with a veneer of humility so you can brag without appearing to brag. (Key word is appearing, because it's still easy to tell humble-braggers are quite tickled with themselves.)

For example, here's a tweeted humblebrag from actor Stephen Fry: "Oh dear. Don't know what to do at the airport. Huge crowd, but I'll miss my plane if I stop and do photos … oh dear don't want to disappoint."

Your employees don't want to hear how stressed you are about your upcoming TED Talk. They don't want to hear how hard it is to maintain two homes. Before you brag — humbly or not, business or personal — think about your audience. A gal who is a size 14 doesn't want to hear you complain that normally you're a size 2, but you're a size 4 in Prada because its sizes run small.

Or better yet, don't brag. Just be proud of what you've accomplished. Let others brag for you; if you've done cool things, don't worry — they will.

10. Push your opinions

You know things. Cool things. Great things.

Awesome. But only share them in the right settings. If you're a mentor, share away. If you're a coach or a leader, share away. If you're the guy who just started a paleo diet, don't tell us all what to order.

Unless we ask. What's right for you may not be right for others; shoot, it might not even turn out to be right for you.

Like most things in life, offering helpful advice is all about picking your spots — just like winning friends and influencing people.

Source: http://www.businessinsider.com/what-will-hold-you-back-from-succeeding-2015-8?utm_content=buffer4e11f&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

The Art of Drinking Water: 10 Ayurvedic Tips for a Happily Hydrated Body.

Again Ayurveda brings us indispensable guidelines for something we thought had no method: drinking water. Just like the rules for eating there’s a way to drink that helps your physical body thrive. It’s more than just glass to lips and chug.

With a teensy bit more awareness, the way in which you drink water can seriously be a life-changer. For me, it meant not having to race to pee all the time. For a friend who also heeded the advice it meant no more massive and uncomfortable post-meal burps. For another friend, drinking water the right way meant no longer feeling painfully full after eating a normal amount of food. And this all came with such simple, minor changes.

So, the Ayurvedic way to drink water:

1. First off, sit down to drink (just as you should sit down to eat).

2. Take sips, not full-glass chugs. Small sip, swallow, breathe. Repeat.

3. Sip water throughout the day. If you chug too much water at once your body doesn’t actually absorb all of it. Most of it will run right through you.

4. Drink at least room temperature water. Warm is even better. Cold and iced water literally douse the digestive fire.

5. Only sip a small amount of water with your meals. If you drink too much while you eat, your belly won’t have enough room for digestive action. Remember this rule: fill your stomach 50% with food, 25% with water, and leave 25% empty for the digestive juices and process.

6. For the same reason, don’t drink loads of water before or after your meals. Fill 50% with food, 25% with water, and leave 25% empty.

7. Drink when you’re thirsty. Thirst is a natural urge that should be heeded. It means your body needs water.

8. As far as how much, we’re all different sizes with varied diets and lifestyles. One set rule of eight glasses a day simply can not apply to everyone. Naturally, the miraculous human body has it’s own built-in measuring system: thirst. If you’re thirsty, drink water. When you listen to thirst cues and sip water throughout the day you’ll be drinking the right amount.

9. Your urine is a secondary confirmation to know if you’re amply hydrated. It should be fairly clear and straw colored. If it’s dark yellow you need to drink more.

10. Your lips are yet another indicator. If they’re dry you might be dehydrated.

The rules are so straightforward, perhaps even obvious or intuitive. But they might make a serious difference in the way you feel on a daily basis.

Whether it’s how to eat, how to drink, how to bathe, or the myriad of other natural behaviors that we’ve never given a second thought, the beautiful science of Ayurveda teaches us the ideal way to do each to feel our absolute best.

20 Daily Practices that Changed My Life.

I can recall many times I made lists of resolutions in December only to forget them by February:

“Stop biting your fingernails.

Learn to relax.

Find a career that you love”

Despite my good intentions, it wasn’t until I made a huge transition—booking a one-way ticket to Costa Rica two Januaries ago—that my life really began to change. But it wasn’t living in the remote jungle that caused me to magically change.

Real change happens from the inside out, not the outside in.

In fact, what travel has taught me more than anything, is that wherever I go, there I am. When I’m in a world where the only constant is me, it becomes spectacularly obvious where—internally—I struggle or thrive.

So how did I transition from an anxious, workaholic, serial monogamist into a beach-bumming, solo female, world traveler?

Practice.

Thousands of miles from the people and the patterns of my past, with more free time than I knew what to do with, I began to evaluate my daily habits and decided how I wanted to change them. In the process, I developed a set of daily practices. When I find myself slipping from myself, falling into past patterns of unhappiness, or feeling overcome with anxiety, I come back to these. Perhaps we can practice them together?

1. Ask Ourselves What We Want

This sounds simple, but many times we get so caught up in our routines, our responsibilities, and our relationships that we don’t stop to ask ourselves, “Uhhh…is this even what I want?!” 

What do you want? If you struggle to answer this question, try asking yourself, “What would I do if I could not fail?” Be prepared for your answer to this question to change often. Know that that’s okay.

2. Believe That it is Possible

We are what holds us back from actualizing our dreams. We must believe that what we want is possible; that itcan happen and we can do it. I remember the first time I saw a yoga teacher push his legs up into crow position. For yoga novices, this is a posture where the yogi crouches down, rests his knees into his armpits, shifts his weight forward into his hands, then floats his feet off the ground.

If you’ve never done it before, it looks impossible. Yet today I am able to do crow with little effort. A posture I once laughed at my teacher for even suggesting. How did I get there? I first had to believe that I could do it to give myself the courage to try. I use this as a metaphor for my life—a reminder that I am capable of achieving things tomorrow; that today might appear impossible. First, I have to believe that I can.

3. Live Life on Purpose

We must decide what we want and then focus our actions to support it. By doing everything—eating, speaking, breathing, behaving—with purpose, our actions become sacred rituals that yield intentional results. Eating something because it’s what we actually want to eat to nourish and please our palates and our bodies. Saying something because it needs to be expressed and heard. Breathing in a way that supports our thoughts, feelings, and movements. Behaving in a way that makes us feel proud of who we are.

4. Set Intentions

It’s easy for us to drift from our purpose with distractions—not only within our own minds, but those from the world around us as well.  We can stay focused on our purpose by beginning each morning with one clear intention: concentration, generosity, gratitude, peace, joy, energy, clarity, balance, or anything we want to harness in our lives. Throughout the day, we should remind ourselves of this intention and bring ourselves back to it often. The more we remember our intention, the more effortless living it becomes.

5. Think Positive

People say this all of the time, but how do we actually put it into practice? A little over a year ago I was sitting on my favorite beach, Punta Uva, in Costa Rica. I was reading “A Thousand Splendid Suns” and—wow—did that book ever remind me of what I have to be grateful for. I began to make a list of all of the positive things in my life. Yet a few minutes later, wandering down the shore, I noticed my mind wandering into negative thinking. I then began beating myself up for thinking negatively in the first place. I began listing all of the things that were wrong with me and my life.

But a voice inside me spoke up: “Ahem, excuse me, Mind. You do not control me.”

In that moment, I decided to play a game. Every time I noticed a negative thought creep into my head, I gave it a positive spin. “You’re not as skinny as you were a year ago. What are you doing wrong?” became, “You have become so dedicated to your yoga practice. Look at how much stronger you are today than you were one year ago!” This game became a daily exercise.

I noticed that the more I practiced, the more automatic positive thinking became. Try shifting your self talk to a positive, kind, supportive dialogue. Our thoughts become our actions and our actions become our lives.

6. Be Selfish

How often do we give others compliments and gestures of kindness? How often do we give that treatment to ourselves? We deserve to feel healthy and happy and no one has the power to offer us that except ourselves. Do at least one thing every single day that is completely, absorbedly, selfish. Take a long soothing bath. Sit in a chair and read a book. Wake up in the morning and do yoga, not to burn calories, but to feel good. Prepare a beautiful meal and enjoy it alone.

7. Become Aware of Our Breath

Our breath is our life. Without it we would cease to survive. It literally moves life energy throughout our body affecting every function of our being. By gaining awareness of our breath and learning to control it, we can control our physical and mental state. Check in with the movement and pattern of the breath. Allow its supportiveness.  When life feels stressful and we feel out of control, we can calm our breath. Slow it down. Deepen it.

Remember: as long as we keep breathing, we keep living. And nothing is ever as serious as it seems.

8. Drink Water

Drink clean, pure, fluoride-free water. Drink a huge glass first thing in the morning. Drink it throughout the day. Carry a big bottle of water wherever you go as a constant reminder to drink, drink, drink!

9. Feel More, Numb Less

Sometimes feelings are intense. Pleasure, pain, sadness, joy, anger, anxiety, fear, hope…it can all be overwhelming. In our society we have created so many tools designed to make us feel less. We escape the intensity of sensations with food, alcohol, drugs, television, the internet, small talk, violence, sex.

Why are we so afraid to just feel?

When I feel an uncomfortable emotion creep in (especially loneliness or boredom), I notice that, suddenly, I have an urge to eat something or get online. However, the same way a throbbing headache is a signal that our bodies need something, boredom is a signal that our spirits need something. Our bodies are not telling us they need a pill the same way our spirits are not telling us they need distraction. We must stop quieting these signals and instead start listening.

10. Eat a Salad

This piece of wisdom comes from my dear friend and food blogger, Andie Mitchell. Eat a big, satisfying, crunchy, varied, balanced salad every single day and, trust me, you will feel amazing! My favorite salads include a crunchy lettuce (like romaine or cabbage) mixed with dark, nutrient-packed greens, something sweet (like fruit, corn, or tomatoes), quinoa or beans, a sprinkle of nuts or seeds, and a tangy dressing with lots of fresh herbs.

11. Move Our Bodies

Run. Jump. Dance. Move. Sweat. Our bodies are filled with energy channels; let them flow! Somehow we’ve adopted this mentality that movement is about calorie burning and weight loss. It has become a chore and a “should” rather than a “want.” Moving our bodies is detoxifying, liberating, energizing, relaxing, and it’s downright fun. We should do it because our bodies want it and because it feels damn good!

12. Start Setting Boundaries

When we feel taken advantage of, taken for granted, or generally out of control, the chances are we are not setting boundaries in our lives and in our relationships. It is each of our responsibilities to define what makes us feel respected and communicate that to others. If we don’t want to loan our favorite sweater to a friend, we should respectfully say it. If we are too busy to volunteer at an event, we should be honest. If something makes us feel uncomfortable, we shouldn’t do it. We can never expect others to behave in accordance with our wants or expectations. However, we can absolutely determine what we are willing to receive and kindly express what is and is not acceptable to us.

13. Don’t Take Things Personally

Did you know that nothing is ever personal? Really. Nothing. What someone says or does that strikes an emotional chord with us is always a reflection of our own insecurities, values, and perceptions. Therefore, the way that someone treats you is the mirror image of what they are personally feeling inside. Knowing that nothing is personal, release the burden of what other people think and how they behave. Know that really, it’s not us. It’s them. In turn, when we find ourselves judging or mistreating someone else, we need to look within and ask ourselves what our thoughts and our behavior say about us.

14. Put Things Into Perspective

A few years ago a co-worker was telling me about her divorce. I will spare the details, but it sounded like an emotionally devastating experience. At the time I was going through my own never-ending breakup in an on-again-off-again relationship. Seeking guidance, I asked her, “How did you get through it?”

“I went to the Holocaust Museum,” she said.

Sometimes, the best way to move on from our problems is to simply put them into perspective. Things are rarely life or death, everything will always be ok and nothing is ever good or bad unless we think so.

15. Spend Time Alone

With the internet at our fingertips, many of us are never alone. I find that my greatest moments of peace and clarity are those when I allow myself to fully separate from other people and outside distractions. My alone time fuels and energizes me when I return to the social world. Years ago, I hated being alone. Really, I hated it. It was uncomfortable, boring and lonely. Usually the thing that we want to do the least is the thing that we most need to do.

Take a long walk by yourself (without your iPod). Go out to dinner and sit at a table alone; don’t bring a book or your phone. Sit by yourself in nature and just stare at what surrounds you. Notice what you feel in your body. Notice where your thoughts go. Realize that you are not only capable of maneuvering the world with your own strength, you are cable of maneuvering your thoughts and your feelings. Find freedom when you realize how good it feels to be alone.

16. Lead With Your Heart

When we experience completeness within ourselves—alone—we may forget about the outside world. Lower the walls we’ve built to protect ourselves. Be honest with people about how we feel. Take a chance on love. Trust people knowing that we might get hurt. Leading with our hearts means being true to ourselves. When we are true to ourselves, we can live without regret.

17. Learn the Words Pura Vida

Why I love Costa Rica can be summed up in two words: pura vida. This simple phrase embodies the most beautiful philosophy I have ever known:

‘Everything is good, life is beautiful, go with the flow, surrender to what is, let things go, enjoy your life.’

We can say, “pura vida” on a sunny day as appropriately as we can in a storm. Pura vida is all about accepting the beauty in the world in every form. Learn these words and live them.

18. Seize the Day

The best time to take a step toward what we want is when the idea is fresh in our minds and the motivation is strong in our spirits. Live in the now. Tomorrow may never come, so do it today. Do it now.

19. Make it a Habit

My experience has shown me that to actually change, I must practice consistently. This is why drastic shifts, like moving or leaving a relationship, seem to affect us in the biggest ways: the aftermath of these actions have results that remain consistent day after day. For anything to really change we need to do it often enough that it starts becoming a habit or a pattern. Choose something that we really want and do it. Every. Single. Day. Practice discipline. Do it until we don’t have to remind ourselves to do it anymore. Then keep doing it. Again. And again. And again.

20. Let Everything Go

Perhaps the most transformative practice of all is the act of letting go. In order to change, we must first make space to allow growth to happen. Let go of our expectations. Let go of our past pain. Let go of who we were yesterday and who we think we might be tomorrow. Let go of everything that is not making us better individuals right now. Most importantly, let go of thinking that we need to be perfect by adhering to anything.
And that includes this list.

source: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/02/20-daily-practices-that-changed-my-life-camille-willemain/

This is what we will Regret Most at the End of Our Lives.

8 Ways to Get Unstuck by Getting Out of your Comfort Zone.

I was broke and tired everyday.

I was “stuck” at my job and I couldn’t get up in the morning. I’d set my alarm two hours before I had to get up and hit snooze until it was eight o’clock. I’d roll on to the floor and just lay there looking at the ceiling.

I was late for work every day. My boss told his boss and they pulled me aside.

“You have to start coming in on time. Or we’ll find someone who can.”

I typed into Google “How to get unstuck” and Google finished my sentence for me. It added, “in life.” Number two was “in mud” and number four was “from super glue.”

Lots of people are stuck in life.

There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re not a bad person for it. But you end up getting unhappier and unhappier until you start looking for ways to shake it up. Maybe you start drinking more. Or you stay up all night watching videos.

One of the biggest signs for me that I was stuck was when I realized I only lived for the weekends. Every weekday was the same. I would get up, go to work, come back home, watch television, sleep, repeat.

And then the weekends went by excruciatingly fast. It was Monday again and I was telling myself,

“Five more days until Saturday.”

One day I got off the train after a long day at work. I took my key out to unlock my bike, but I didn’t see my bike. All that was left was a wheel.

I walked two miles home.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I had enough. Something needed to change. I started a project.

I decided to get out of my comfort zone every day for the next 100 days.

I was going to face my fears. I was going to try things. I was going to meet new and interesting people. I was going to create.

At the end, it got me unstuck. I learned what it was that worked for me. Never believe anything anyone tells you. Try it for yourself. Here’s what I did. But, most importantly, I hope you try it for yourself.

1.  List your daily routine.

List everything you do. Even the little things like brushing your hair, putting your shoes on, taking the train, etc. Make it as long as you can.

You want to see everything you do every single day.

2. Do something to change your list above.

When I did one hundred things that got me out of my comfort zone, some of things I did were things that changed my routine.

For example, when I walked to work, I took a different route. Or I woke up an hour earlier and wrote.

3. Do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Try this: When you go buy your morning coffee, ask the cashier if you can get ten percent off your coffee.

It was one of my challenges. My heart was pounding when I asked this because what would the cashier think of me? Who asks that? Is it okay to ask that?

It also taught me a valuable lesson.

If you don’t ask, the answer is always “no.”

Many people are stuck because they hide from fear. But the point to life isn’t to avoid it.

4. Reach out to new people.

One of my challenges was to interview someone I admired.

I emailed marketing genius Seth Godin and asked him if we could chat. Again, I asked.

I thought there was no way he would ever respond me. He’s the best selling author of over 15 books. But he answered. A few days later, we were having a conversation about fighting fear.

Who do you admire that you would love to talk to?

Maybe you love their books or blog. Maybe it’s your boss at work. Send them an email and ask them if you could interview them. Say it’s for a project you’re doing.

They say you’re the average of the five people you hang out with. Surround yourself with people who inspire you.

5. Do nothing.

You wont find this on any other list of ways to get unstuck.

For one day, just do nothing and don’t feel guilty. A big problem I had when I was stuck was that every day I felt like I had to be doing something or else I was a failure.

What a horrible way to live.

It’s okay to sometimes do nothing. Take the day off. Watch a movie guilt-free. Take a walk. Take a nap. Read. Nobody ever said on their deathbed they wished they had worked longer hours.

6. Help someone.

For a whole day, be a superhero.

Look for anyone who needs help. Help someone cross the street. Help someone carry their bags up the stairs. Introduce a friend to someone who can help them with a project they’re working on.

Don’t expect anything back.

7. Apply for a new job in a creative way.

Maybe you feel “stuck” because you don’t like your job. Seth Godin says,

“Jobs people kill for are never gotten by someone sending in a resume.”

I sent in a video of me explaining why I was great for the job as a challenge in my project. I actually got the job! When you send in a resume, you’re begging to get rejected.

Come up with ways to make yourself stand out. That sets you apart from the 99 percent of others sending in a resume hoping to get picked.

8. Create a project.

Most people would rather create something than spend all day in a cubicle being a cog in the system.

I did a project where I got out of my comfort zone every day for one hundred days and then wrote about it atEfrainMart.com.

It made me wake up in the morning because I was working on something I loved and was proud of. And it was my own creation.

So find something you love and then create something around it. Work on it every day. Maybe you love cooking. Make a cookbook and self publish it on Amazon. Maybe you like bikes. Start blogging about bikes every day and start fixing bikes for money.

Do anything that makes you feel creative.

Here’s a short story from day five of my challenge:

I wanted to look out of the top window of the NBC building in Chicago. It’s six hundred feet tall and has thirty-seven floors. I hit thirty-seven on the elevator. When I got to the top floor, a tall man in a grey suit saw me there.

“Can I help you?” he said.

“I’m trying to look out the window of the top floor,” I said.

His face turned furious and he kicked me out of the building. I had never been yelled at and kicked out of anywhere since high school. Although I felt worried and nervous at first, it was different.

It was day five on my journey of getting out of my comfort zone.

I left the NBC building and walked to work. I had a big smile on my face and I could feel the sweat coming off my forehead.

I felt something I hadn’t felt after years of living the same day over and over.

I felt alive.